Bad decision

I dont have a conscience
cause i tried to make a decision once
they were all over me
like it was some destiny

the path i take
is not the path i make
your path of it
is embedded deep within it

Words fail me
my breath speakes more than me
In solitude i recall
When from your grace i had to fall

In time i realize
everything i was but wise
you had fooled me
and left me in the drowning sea

An idiot i am
a lover for words i am
fill me with your words
throw me down the road

A believer i will not remain
Can you not refrain?
My revenge is forthcomings
its my song that you will sing

Who am i to make such threats
when i am in debt
I need you badly
everything else seems worldly

Another one...

The irk

It begins like everyday
It ends with seething pain
with every word I say
Im insane

I cant seem to remove
what comes to mind
I hurt the ones I love
for all my faults i can find

No, they don't get it
I try to fight it
I hear, to become the perfect soul
All i need is self-control

Then it happens
after the damage i know
way beyond the lens
I can only walk out the door

I always say I'd learn
in their hearts i burn
Searing pain in my gut
wish they'd forget

Maybe they will
Maybe they'd tolerate
A better man i never will
In the end I am isolated

Can i fake it?
I want to make it
Will i break it
for the sake of it

I meant no harm
mouth zipped tight
I shiver in the warmth
Can you see the light?

I take for granted
If only words could feel
what i wanted
only then I would heal

Maybe it will be mainstream :) here's something random:

Shiver

suddenly I feel the morning cold
is it me. am i too old
all the fingers are they pointing at me
An outcast they decree

Wishing you were never here
anxiety, hope or is it fear?
Like all endings will i follow
I am shallow maybe even hollow

Change will eat me
People may defeat me
But the truth is
I am me